SO..my sis Valicia Maria tagged me in this note on facebook. I figured i would share it with yall.
here is what she wrote:
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Ok, so after having a very deep and inspiring conversation with a good guy friend, I felt compelled to write this note :-) Let me know your thoughts.
TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU ARENT* READY FOR (should not be in) A RELATIONSHIP:
10. You aren't interested in comittment, so you "play the field" and abuse your right to "explore your options". Clearly you are more interested in going to the club and meeting new groupies than getting to know that quality dude/female who may just brighten your day.
9. You have a problem being faithful: sometimes its easier to have a side man or woman to give you what your current boo won't. Ok, you have to give out what you'd like to recieve, people! So if you are unsatisfied with what your partner is giving out, you have to search YOURSELF first and find out why they may be holding back from you.
8. You still give your ex (yes, that same trifling chick/dude who hurt you) the time of day. More time than necessary to maintain a cordial friendshp (ie. you answer the phone when he/she calls at 3am). You obviously haven't let go of the past and will most likely carry some of your biases from those experiences into your current relationship.
7. You communicate more with your partner through Instant Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, FB Chat or Wall Posts, and Twitter rather than spending quality time with him/her. If you can't make time for a simple 5 minute phone call each day to let them know you were thinking of them, at least send a courtesy text message! I mean, the internet is great but if you use it to create and maintain over %25 of your relationship, that is a problem. This is excluding emails which can be convenient when at work.
6. You don't have a plan. ATTENTION MEN: if you don't know the direction your life is headed, at least for the next two years...please do NOT try to bring a woman in to your life for a committed relationship! If you are in college, cool...whats the plan for after graduation? If you are working full-time, what are you working towards...a home, retirement? Are you interested in marriage, children...or would you like to remain single (not married) until a specific time? KNOW WHERE YOU ARE HEADED AND WHAT YOU ARE LIVING EACH DAY TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE YOU INVITE SOMEONE ELSE TO WALK IT OUT WITH YOU!
5. Sex is the most important factor of your relationship. 'Nuff said.
4. You don't know what you truly value in a partner. Just because she's a 'long-haired, thick redbone' is not enough of a reason to make her your woman. Know what turns you on about a man/woman, understand the qualities in other people that you really enjoy and which ones you just can't stand. That way, you will know a quality man/woman for you when they come along...you won't jump into the relationship blindly.
3. You are not accountable. If you have to hide your relationship (from your family, pastor or church members, friends).
2. If you continually find yourself hurt, used, abused by the men/women you choose to date/fellowship with. You have to love yourself enough to know what you deserve from other people and NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN 100%.
1. You haven't prayed and asked God to heal you of past hurts, so that you can love confidently and not insecurely. You have to be healthy and whole before you can truly love another person. If you are dealing with issues on the side, don't bring someone else into your mess! Get yourself right before trying to find the 'right' person. Work on being the BEST you that you can be...and God will take care of the rest.
**************************
Alright guys LOL that is my top 10 list...please comment and let me know which ones you aggree with or disagree with.
THANKS!
TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU ARENT* READY FOR (should not be in) A RELATIONSHIP:
10. You aren't interested in comittment, so you "play the field" and abuse your right to "explore your options". Clearly you are more interested in going to the club and meeting new groupies than getting to know that quality dude/female who may just brighten your day.
9. You have a problem being faithful: sometimes its easier to have a side man or woman to give you what your current boo won't. Ok, you have to give out what you'd like to recieve, people! So if you are unsatisfied with what your partner is giving out, you have to search YOURSELF first and find out why they may be holding back from you.
8. You still give your ex (yes, that same trifling chick/dude who hurt you) the time of day. More time than necessary to maintain a cordial friendshp (ie. you answer the phone when he/she calls at 3am). You obviously haven't let go of the past and will most likely carry some of your biases from those experiences into your current relationship.
7. You communicate more with your partner through Instant Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, FB Chat or Wall Posts, and Twitter rather than spending quality time with him/her. If you can't make time for a simple 5 minute phone call each day to let them know you were thinking of them, at least send a courtesy text message! I mean, the internet is great but if you use it to create and maintain over %25 of your relationship, that is a problem. This is excluding emails which can be convenient when at work.
6. You don't have a plan. ATTENTION MEN: if you don't know the direction your life is headed, at least for the next two years...please do NOT try to bring a woman in to your life for a committed relationship! If you are in college, cool...whats the plan for after graduation? If you are working full-time, what are you working towards...a home, retirement? Are you interested in marriage, children...or would you like to remain single (not married) until a specific time? KNOW WHERE YOU ARE HEADED AND WHAT YOU ARE LIVING EACH DAY TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE YOU INVITE SOMEONE ELSE TO WALK IT OUT WITH YOU!
5. Sex is the most important factor of your relationship. 'Nuff said.
4. You don't know what you truly value in a partner. Just because she's a 'long-haired, thick redbone' is not enough of a reason to make her your woman. Know what turns you on about a man/woman, understand the qualities in other people that you really enjoy and which ones you just can't stand. That way, you will know a quality man/woman for you when they come along...you won't jump into the relationship blindly.
3. You are not accountable. If you have to hide your relationship (from your family, pastor or church members, friends).
2. If you continually find yourself hurt, used, abused by the men/women you choose to date/fellowship with. You have to love yourself enough to know what you deserve from other people and NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN 100%.
1. You haven't prayed and asked God to heal you of past hurts, so that you can love confidently and not insecurely. You have to be healthy and whole before you can truly love another person. If you are dealing with issues on the side, don't bring someone else into your mess! Get yourself right before trying to find the 'right' person. Work on being the BEST you that you can be...and God will take care of the rest.
**************************
Alright guys LOL that is my top 10 list...please comment and let me know which ones you aggree with or disagree with.
THANKS!
